Disclaimer: I wrote my diary part 1, 2, 3 but I only saved
them on my phone’s memo. So here’s my diary part 4!
I just wake up and I had a dream. Actually it was a nice
dream:( it start with a random thing, but in
the beginning we aren’t meet each other. But then, we meet in one moment. You hold
my hand to climb the stairs then we sit in a swingin chair, there’s also your
guy friend there. All of us are sit. Then I feel tired and hold your hand, you
hold my hand to protect me. I just forget for what happen after that, what I remember
is we only run to hide our self endlessly. When we know the situation are safe,
you carry me in your back. I just hug you tight from the back and feel how
happy I am. And then we sit under the tree, you embrace me, I open my body to
closer to you, I hold your hand, you touch my cheek but I’m not angry at all. I
just feel there’s a butterfly in my stomach. You know, it was might be the
first time I’m not feel annoyed when someone touch my cheek. You know I did not
like and always pull to one side when someone did that to me but on that time I
feel happy, safe, comfortable when you around me. We talk eye to eye, I can
touch your beard lol it’s funny if I remember how I love guy beard. You say
that you remember about gerlong street so you can carry me arrived at home. Now
I confuse how can you saying that you know gerlong street when you know nothing
about Bandung? I think I’m going crazy. We talk about what I feel each other, I
said that I don’t love you but yes I am interested In you. And you said you
feel the same way as me, the only one you feel that your emotions. But then you
say the fuck of the truth that you still love your ex, you say that thing with
your glaze eyes. It’s actually hurt and fucked up eventho it’s just a dream. Capek
ah pake bahasa inggris. satu yang gue dapet dari mimpi ini, ternyata gue
orangnya SE CLINGY ITU. Kalo in real life bakal gue tahan sih kayaknya. Gengsi.
Honestly I feel happy, I just want to live in a dream with happy feeling (but
no until he talk about his ex). Maybe this stupid cerpen can express how this
sad girl feel, kalo memang ada pesan yang dikirimkan Tuhan melalui mimpi I’ll
appreciate and Thank God. Segini ajalah, udah mau maghrib.
March 7, 2020.
6:07pm
